A guard on Starling’s game: “Stop! You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people!”
Starling: “No shit. I just killed the Emperor’s cousin at her own wedding. I’m killing him next. Down with the man!”
Guard: “What say you in your defense?: A: You caught me, I’ll go to jail and pay my bounty. B: I’d rather die than go to jail!”
Master Betty (Starling’s husband): “Well, the barracks are right there. 20 guards will be on you before you know what happens. It auto saved five seconds ago before you traveled to that town. Just start from there and avoid the town.”
Starling: “But they have a necklace at this store I want! I can’t get it anywhere else!”
Master Betty: “Do you need it?”
Starling: “No….but I want to shop-”
Master Betty: “I’ll be right back. I need another Big Red.”
*He walks back in after making himself some lunch*
Master Betty: *gawks at Starling’s character now inside the store and standing on top of 20 or more dead guard bodies.*
Starling: *Ignores store keeper yelling about how awful the carnage is and starts looting the dead bodies and then attempts to sell all the guards’ armor to her*
Shop Keeper: “…what happened here!?!…Yes?…How can I help you? Oh, I have a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Take a look!”
Master Betty: “She’ll take your money. That means you killed all the guards and every witness and then hid until she stopped screaming.”
Starling: “I said I wanted to shop.” *Exits building and steps over the two bodies of the guards that started the whole thing.
Cicero (My player’s companion that helps do stuff): *In a high pitched, excited voice* “Let’s kill someone!!!”
Starling: “Oh my gosh, Cicero! Has your blood lust no end?!”
Yeah, I’m pretty tough. *Flex* No! Don’t comment on how I must have no life to level grind and do random missions until I can do that without cheats or anything when I haven’t even completed the main mission or any faction quests other than the Dark Brotherhood! Over 100 hours in and I still have so much to do! Yippie!
Really, though…It was actually pretty hard to kill them all. I’d stocked up on healing potions and invisibility potions and then I found a narrow place so that they had to fight me one at a time. I felt proud, though, so I had to play it off like it was no thang when Master Betty came back in the room.
Starling in the Dark Brotherhood on Skyrim