Enemies beware! I now have a unicorn that shoots glitter…and FIRE! And smoke. I have the power of bubbles, and I will shoot them at the eyes of mine enemies!!! IT WILL STING A LITTLE BIT!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! TAKE THAT!
As we ride away from your battered glittery body, the rubber duckie henchman in my lap shall hurl insults at our foes!!
Starling: *Points at Tea Time Magazine on the shelf* “Hey, Master Betty. Will you flip through that real quick and see if it looks stupid or if there are lots of colorful pretty tea party pictures and treats in there? I’m thinking of ordering it and I wanna make sure I’m not totally thinking it’s the wrong thing and is some weird political stuff or something, but I don’t want to ruin this issue for myself if it’s the one that comes to me first.”
Master Betty: *Picks up magazine. Hides it under his arm. Searches for a manly magazine. Inserts feminine Tea Time Magazine inside manly book, and then flips through it.* “Yep. It’s all artsy and shit. It looks like you’d like it. So, you’re having tea parties now? Like-”
Starling: “Yay! I’m gonna order it!” *Skips off like AJ Lee from Wrestling*
Master Betty: “This shenanigan better not involve anything that stains! Hey! Come back!”
Every time I get that Bruno Mars song ‘Gorilla’ stuck in my head, I walk around singing it and within seconds the lyrics have changed from ‘Gorilla’ to ‘Godzilla’. That’s how it stays all day long.
“You and me baby makin’ love like Godzillas!” Sounds destructive…
Could it sound tame? Let’s see…
‘Making love like chinchillas’ at least wouldn’t be violent.
Or perhaps it could be toned down with ‘making love all vanilla’?
Or maybe replacing it with a flower name or something asexual like that would make the ‘love’ part sound like good deeds and making the world a better place…’making love like daffodillas’.
Hmm…guess I’ll just stick with Godzilla.
*Mizzy Kitty runs by*
Starling: *Geek laughter* “I love having a little ninja in the house!”
Mizzy in the other room: “MEOW! REOW! REOW!!! MEOW!!!” *punches something plastic vigorously*
Master Betty: “She’s not a very quiet ninja.”